Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
