So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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