Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
nutella sex= disaster
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I believe in your delicious
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
