Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
