C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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