Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
