You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
