Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize
