I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
