I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
