we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
