he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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