my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
