i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
