I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
