i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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