sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
