You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
