When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
