I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
