butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
