Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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