So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
