If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
