There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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