The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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