Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
