Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
