I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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