You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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