Betty ford says i'm here all night
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
