Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
