I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
