so that wasnt chicken after all
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
