Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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