OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
