I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
