Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
