Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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