and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
