Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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