My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
