Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
