i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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