You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
They are going to name an STD after you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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