Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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