it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
