he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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