I cannot find my penis.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
