so explain again why im purple
no
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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