wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
