it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
